Comics have 100% more stories about people punching sharks with hammers

I saw "Thor" last night and it was awesome.

Frankly, my expectations were quite low, because even though the amazing Kenneth Branagh was directing, there were so many things that could have gone wrong.

- He travels to earth via the bifrost-- which is a rainbow bridge. That could have looked ridiculous. Instead, it was epic and I want one.

- As hilarious as old-timey viking language is, it could have been over done. It turns out that I never get tired of Thor calling everyone around him a puny mortal.

- I thought that Natalie Portman was a bizarre choice. Didn't know if she would add anything to the movie. I was wrong to doubt her.

I really liked "Thor" and I think other people will find it just as epic.

If I can nerd out for a second, though, I just want to say that comics are awesome. In Hollywood's recent rush to cash in on the comic industry, some of the adaptations have been pretty awful. You would think Hollywood could produce a basic hero movie (especially given the budgets some of these movies have) but clearly that is not the case.

There are all kinds of comics (or graphic novels if you are a snob) and there is some great storytelling that just flourishes in the comic medium. Recently, I've been obsessed with Marvel and which just looks at every possible variation of the heroic struggle. One of the best stories I have ever read, however, is "Y the Last Man." I recommend it to everyone.

Even those who don't think they like comics, when they look deep within their heart--they find that there is something. If you like snark, underdogs, wonderdogs, justice, philosophy, heroes, romance, robots, or laser beams-- then you probably like comics.

Also, "Thor" reignited my excitement for "the Avengers" movie. Thor, Hulk, Iron Man, and Captain America come together and battle some epic baddy. What is even better is Joss Whedon not only wrote the script-- but is directing the movie.

Whedon was behind "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", "Firefly", and "Dr.Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog." The man has a knack for storytelling and creating amazing characters.

He also has a reputation for killing those amazing characters.

And getting fired.

(if you can't read the comic, click here to go to the original)

True Tales of Success (that sound like horrifying stories of failure)

I am exhausted.

So far, I have done stand-up comedy at two open mics here in North Carolina and I'm going to do another tonight. This is the first night where I don't have to drive an hour or more to get to the venue.

In order to prepare for success, I took the set that I had practiced and memorized the week before and threw it out.

So on the three hours car ride up to Asheville I memorized completely new material.

Asheville's hippie reputation is pretty well-known but I was unprepared for how hippie it was. The first people I saw after parking my car were three guys playing hacky sack in the parking lot. I planted myself at the bar and watched the Asheville hipsters mill about. There was an adorable chap who literally had a feather in his cap. Asheville, you are in a league of your own.

I sat by some great (older) guys who gave me some jokes that I could use.

I did not.

Maybe next time.

(Nope. I won't.)

When I finally got up to do my set, I clutched the microphone stand the entire time. My smart idea to look at my watch and gauge my time (so as not to go over) evaporated as soon as I got on stage. I timed the set when I was in the car and I nailed it each time. Five minutes exactly. My time at the mic could have very well been under one minute.

I'm pretty sure that I said words but I can't verify that. I blacked out and don't remember details. I pretty much just stared into the spotlight and blocked out everything.

People laughed, though.

It could have been pity but let me be clear-- that is fine with me. At first I debated whether I should say that this was my first time doing stand-up. Before I got up on stage, self-righteous Jenny decided "No. I won't say that-- because that would be pandering."

At the end of the set I was just like, "Screw it-- I am not above that."

Die a slow death, high-minded ideas.

Three hours later I arrived back at home. The above details the stress and nerves I experienced doing stand-up but it was really one of the best nights of my life.

My second set was in Chapel Hill. The goal for the previous night was to get through the set regardless of the audience's reaction and not cry (set achievable goals) and my goal for Chapel Hill was this time I was going to take the microphone out of the stand.

Like I said previously, in Asheville I clutched the mic stand the entire time. It is because I had (have) a fear of breaking the microphone. Either I can't navigate the mic out of the stand or the stand falls or just the whole thing bursts into flames.

For the record-- I totally did break the microphone.

True story.

As soon as I touched it, the chord dropped out of the mic (which was still firmly in the stand). So I had to take care of that mess before I started. It went well, though.

So, in summary, all of my dreams are coming true-- some of those dreams just happen to also be nightmares.

Lily Tomlin

In some ways, I wanted to just communicate something about humans in general. Perhaps I wanted people to see them as affectionately and as sympathetically as I did...

....All that creates a compassion for, and understanding of, people. You see them at their highest and lowest; you know that for people who put up a good front or are high and mighty all the time, they’re not. They’re all pretty fragile.

Lily Tomlin

(from Sataristas by Paul Provenza)

"Lily Tomlin"

by Jenny Chalikian

Get to work!

Greetings to the three people who read my blog.

I have missed you.

Forgive me for neglecting you.

Like I mentioned in the previous post (a month ago) unemployment can be a dark hole where dreams and work ethic go to die. While there are moments of panic and utter depression- THERE IS SO MUCH FREE TIME. I am actually pretty pumped that I have done so much during my hiatus from responsibility... I just have to figure out how to get paid for it.

In the month I haven't been posting, I have been drawing comics, outlining a screenplay, and writing stacks of rough drafts for entries I have meant to post. In a crazy fit of productivity, I have decided I need to start posting them.

Also, I downloaded a paint program so I can start making really simple (crappy) graphics for my blog.

I know what you are thinking: "Jenny, SLOW DOWN!"

Some of you might be worried that my brain, unused to sustained activity, will explode from this flurry of productivity-- but do not worry.

There is a plan.

Everyone tells you to figure out what you love and do that. During school, I would think how my love for comedy, show-tunes, comic-books, and science-fiction would translate into a job. If I could turn my alarming (almost encyclopedic) knowledge of film and tv into a viable career.

That is still kind of my goal-- to find that awesome job that would utilize all my obscure talents. Until then, I am going to write as if a billion people read this blog and pretend that all those people have the same bizarre interests. In the very least, a few like-minded people might find this blog and rejoice that they are not alone.

They are probably unemployed too... and in need of some cheering up.

In the very least, think of it this way: I have had three months to find awesome things on the internet, in books, and on TV. Let me share those things with you.

All this activity still might explode my brain.

But so be it.

I will go out in a flame of glory.

What do the unemployed take a vacation from?

It has been three days since I have returned from Puerto Rico and I've already reverted back to my natural ghostly visage (I swear I went outside!).

Puerto Rico was awesome and relaxing and sunny (note: Solar energy is apparently the only thing that fuels my productivity--I got so much done!). Vieques is beautiful and the perfect place to take a vacation because the island doesn't accommodate stress. Vieques will beat the stress out of you.

It's hard to articulate the difference between vacation and unemployment. If you don't have a job-- what are you taking a vacation from? There is a difference, though. People on vacation and the unemployed both have a wealth of time on their hands-- but no one thinks that the unemployed are "living the dream." Also- drinking copious amounts of alcohol is encouraged instead of frowned upon.

When we were in our taxi heading towards the ferry, we were basically treated to a mini-tour of why Vieques is so awesome-sauce. We passed the beaches which are picturesque even when littered with fat tourists- horses grazing alongside the road- and rows of beautiful multi-colored houses. Probably the most idyllic scene was a park full of families flying kites. It was nauseating how beautiful it was.

The adorableness didn't end there. In the ferry we met the acquaintance of a dog that engaged in a series of hilarious hijinks around the terminal and then curled up and nestled under our seats.

Then, by degrees, I noticed that the further we got from comfortable casual sunshiney Vieques-- the shittier things got.

From Something More Fantastical

Riding the ferry to San Juan was only part two of our trek to the airport. We still had to take another taxi from the ferry to the airport... and the ferry was running late.

For some bizarre reason, I chose to spend the first half of the trip inside. Despite having a capacity of at least a hundred people-- there were only three people inside-- with good reason. There was no air circulating through the cabin. None. It was like an awful sweat lodge without the spiritual payoff or fun hallucinations.

Outside (where my clever friends were) it was glorious. Beautiful ocean, nice breeze, and two men emptying their guts over the railing.

We were late getting to the airport and had to get a later flight out. The lady at the desk was successful in getting us a flight back but for reasons unknown, she didn't think Wayne and I deserved seat assignments on second leg of our flight.

Way to cast a cloud of anxiety over our trip, ma'am.

The flight from Puerto Rico to Charlotte was interesting. They played a safety video instead of having the flight attendants perform the demonstration for us. I noticed that the spanish version is significantly shorter than the english version. This could mean one of two things a) English people need to be coddled and have the obvious spelled out for them b) the spanish version just suggests you sit tight and make a raft out of the people who still need to be told how buckle their seat belt.

Also, just to calm everyone down, Puerto Ricans like to pump exhaust fumes into the cabin during the safety speech. Nothing mellows people out more than a little light carbon monoxide poisoning.

The flight from Charlotte to Greensboro wasn't very notable except the plane just dropped out of the sky every five minutes. We had to fly through a series of thunderstorms so there was mega-turbulence and we basically cut a chaotic cosine through the skies.

And as soon as the wheels touched down on the tarmac, the skies opened up and it has pretty much been cold and rainy ever since.

Also- it snowed today.

WTF?

Bye-bye, Vieques

Things you can't do with an e-reader...

Artist Brian Dettmer (aka the "Book Surgeon") makes books into works of art. There are some images at the bottom but they are tiny. Click on the link at the bottom of the article to see larger images. They are amazing.

Using knives, tweezers and surgical tools, Brian Dettmer carves one page at a time. Nothing inside the out-of-date encyclopedias, medical journals, illustration books, or dictionaries is relocated or implanted, only removed.

Dettmer manipulates the pages and spines to form the shape of his sculptures. He also folds, bends, rolls, and stacks multiple books to create completely original sculptural forms.

"My work is a collaboration with the existing material and its past creators and the completed pieces expose new relationships of the book’s internal elements exactly where they have been since their original conception," he says.

"The richness and depth of the book is universally respected yet often undiscovered as the monopoly of the form and relevance of the information fades over time. The book’s intended function has decreased and the form remains linear in a non-linear world. By altering physical forms of information and shifting preconceived functions, new and unexpected roles emerge."

Dettmer is originally from Chicago, where he studied at Columbia College. He currently lives and works in Atlanta, GA.

[from mymodernmet.com]

There is a more in depth interview here (as well as more images).

Music makes the world go 'round

Today, during my daily tour around the internets, I found my new source of music for the week: Norwegian Recycling.

Norwegian Recycling is a chap who has created a BUNCH of mash-ups over the past four years. His newest video "Open Your Eyes" just came out recently.

If you like that video, his website is a treasure-trove of mash-ups.

Mash-ups are awesome. Sometimes they are the only reason I keep watching "Glee." (For weeks on end, they sound like Kidz Bop and then all of a sudden- they pull an amazing mash-up out of nowhere and my love of "Glee" is restored.)

Plus, sometimes the combination of different songs makes awful songs better.

Example: I find Train's "Soul Sister" barely palatable. It triggers some sort of hate gland deep within me. It's the same sort of reaction that occurs whenever Jason Mraz is playing anywhere near my ears.

However, for some reason, when "Soul Sister" is mashed up with Owl City's "Fireflies", I find the result delightful.

Some favorites so far:

(Most of these are videos, but you can get them all in the "audio" section-- also there are a LOT more songs in the "audio" section.)

Miracles

Viva la Viral

No One Takes a Bow

Sean Said It Right

Acoustic Alchemy

Be Like A Dosed Black Eyed Gary

Ben Is Chasing Beautiful Girls

A Twist of Kanye