A Call To Action!

Citizens of the world!! / the four people that read this blog.

I am calling for a temporary ban on portmanteaus!

(I know. This blog is so edgy!)

A portmanteau is a combination of two words to create a new word (ex. smog is a portmanteau of smoke and fog).

Portmanteaus can be awesome.

It has produced some ace words: brunch, cyborg, camcorder, and bootylicious.

Do you remember that dark time before 2001 when you would struggle to find the words to describe a ladies ass? We owe Destiny's Child so much.

Did you know Sony is actually a portmanteau? It is a combination between the latin "sonus" (meaning sound) and "sonny" which is slang for 'youngster.'

See, that is interesting!

Lately, however, this most wondrous literary device has been grossly overused. In order to preserve the noble legacy of the portmanteau, I think it needs to be temporarily retired.

Brangelina

I think it began with this.

At some point, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie merged to become this super-entity that would henceforth dominate tabloids and haunt Jennifer Aniston's career forever.

For some reason, even though everyone knew who Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were, this union so captured the public eye that someone decided that it needed its own name. The two individuals were absorbed into a much more powerful megabeing and "Brangelina" was spawned.

This insipid naming trend eventually lead to "Tomkat" (Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes) which just sounds stupid. "Tomkat" sounds like the name of a lesser known Thundercat. More than that, the name fails to capture the swirling crazy of this relationship.

The fad got better for a second when "Hunger Games" fans decided that Katniss and Peeta's couple name was Peeniss...

Ha ha.

Penis.

Bromance

Can this word die in a fire?

Dramedy

I think this word is misleading. Inevitably, it isn't a comedy at all. It is sad and there are some funny lines of dialogue.

There needs to be a new name for it.

Like, "Wes Anderson films."

Recession Slang

The amount of words that news outlets have invented (for no reason) is dizzying.

I know that when a huge snow storm is coming, throwing up "SNOWPOCALYPSE" on the screen is provocative (and more fun for the graphics department)- but is it necessary? Not really.

And whatever your opinion on economics right now, I feel like we can all agree it is a mess. There is a LOT going on. Global issues, gender inequality, racial tensions, and workers rights are ALL issues that are tied up with what is going on with the economy.

So, when you shorthand a massively complicated issues to something like "mancession", I can't help but think you might be leaving some things out. Follow it up with a "he-covery" (or "she-covery", depending on who you talk to) and I just want to push you off a cliff.

Remember "staycation?" If you can't afford a vacation this year, you could always take a "staycation!" So even if you are having to scrimp a little you can take a local trip! Or if you don't have a job-- just stay home!!

Ease the humiliation of unemployment with a "staycation." See- these troubling times aren't as bad as you think! With all these crazy perks, you hardly notice the widening gap between rich and poor.

And lastly, "funemployment" which is when you are unemployed and aren't trying to find a job. Not having a job isn't humiliating or degrading or depressing-- IT'S A PERMANENT WEEKEND! In some cases your amazing hedonistic lifestyle is being funded by government handouts and unemployment checks.

I can't fathom how creating a word that is a sideways way of calling people freeloading bums could lead to anger and resentment.

And I'm NOT saying that people who take advantage of the system don't exist.

Using that word to describe individual people (like your dead-beat roommate or any of the Kardashians) would be appropriate and descriptive.

When you use it in a news-cast or an article- it becomes a generalization. It blurs the lines and it makes it seem like a trend.

And sure- people who cheat the system and freeload are jerks.

But there are a LOT of unemployed people who are demoralized by not having a job and might resent you lumping them in with those freeloading jerks.

The portmanteau has become reductive.

I know portmanteaus are catchy and awesome and with so much information everywhere all the time- buzzwords make certain stories stand-out. In the long run, however, it isn't helpful. Taking incredibly emotional and complex issues and cramming them into one word is not only unnecessarily reductive, it can be misleading.

The english language is insanely massive (and awesome). There are enough words to talk about what is going on in a more frank and honest way.

So stop devaluing the portmanteau!

That is all.

(I think this movement is really going to catch on. What do you think?)

Things I like are AWESOME: Hunger Games vs Twilight

I just finished the Hunger Games trilogy in a little under 48 hours and it was AMAZING. Despite being marketed as a Young Adult series-- there is still immense appeal for an older audience simply because it is an AMAZING piece of literature.

Let me first say that Hunger Games is a Young Adult book in the way that Harry Potter is a Young Adult book in that it is awesome and the classification should be considered irrelevant.

Hunger Games is the first book in Suzanne Collins' triology and it follows the life of Katniss Everdeen. Katniss lives in District 12 and has the unfortunate "honor" of being forced to participate in the Hunger Games. After government collapsed, the Capitol and 13 districts arose in its place. The Capitol proved to be pretty unjust and the districts tried to overthrow the Capitol and failed. Ever since then, the Hunger Games have existed to punish the districts for their uprising. The Hunger Games require 2 tributes from each District and then the tributes fight to the death in a televised fight to the death.

Holy CRAP, right?

In the media, however, people are saying that it is the next "Twilight" which rankles me a bit. The first reason being, the association makes me look pretty uncool for reading Hunger Games.

FACT #1: I am cool.

Really, there are not really any similarities whatsoever. Hunger Games is all about social responsibility whereas Twilight is just about one girl's (ridiculous) social life. Some people (Twilight fans) have claimed that it is hard/ impossible to compare the two stories because the they are so different. It is kind of true. Hunger Games is an exciting and heroic tale whereas Twilight is a romance full of angst and abs.

But wait! Hunger Games is a twofer. Hunger Games is a heroic tale WITH an epic romance... and abs. There is an intense love triangle in Hunger Games and unlike Twilight, it isn't based on which suitor is less likely to kill her.

FACT #2: The romance in "Hunger Games" is better than "Twilight."

Yeah, I said it.

I would also like to point out right now that EVERY children's story (even the messed up German ones) had basically the same premise: run away from monsters. Vampires and Werewolves are two of the most destructive and predatory monsters in the pantheon of monsters. You really aren't supposed to fall in love with them. It doesn't matter that they are sparkly. They want to kill you.

If Hunger Games followed Twilight's romantic formula for success, you would have dialogue like this:

Peeta: I want to kill you.

Katniss: Do me!

Peeta and Gale, the two who are fighting for Katniss' affection, prove their love by protecting her and helping to support her family. Oh, and NOT stalking her.

And just before you confuse Games as a maudlin sapfest-- fear not! There is an incredible amount of action (and violence).

For a trilogy that features supernatural creatures of the night, in terms of action, Twilight is unbearably tame. Except for the occasional decapitation and mind torture, Twilight is pretty uneventful.

FACT #3: Action and adventure are far superior to the angst.

To be fair--how could Twilight be viewed as anything but mundane when compared to Hunger Games? The action of the first novel is driven by the idea that Hunger Games exist-- where children battle to the death for the amusement of the citizens. That is where the bar is set: children killing each other for sport. In order to drive the action it only gets more intense: human trafficking, assassinations, class inequality, just warfare-- you know, kid stuff.

Hunger Games is a really awesome, exciting, and empowering novel and has 100% more bow-fighting than Twilight. It can read as a social justice primer for kids (or really awesome adults) but at its heart, it's all about love. Not only romantic love-- but love on every end of the spectrum: love for family, friends, and even people you haven't met yet.

The message at the center of each book is "Follow your heart." The only difference being, Bella's heart leads her into the arms of a sparkly supernatural beast and Katniss's leads her to overthrow an unjust government.

Mock movie poster by AnaB at Deviant Art. Pretty awesome.