Kermit the Frog says dreamers are better than hipsters

It has been such a ridiculous time since my last post (which I just realized, Blogger didn't even post. Thanks, Blogger).

So, while I rewrite my nerd manifesto, here is a musical collection of awesome things to keep you occupied throughout your day.

The Muppets: The Green Album

Listen to 'The Green Album' for free on NPR. The album is really pretty great. Not only can you listen to some of your favorite Muppets songs-- the bands that cover the songs are great (Weezer, OK Go, Andrew Bird).

Mika's new Single ~ "Elle Me Dit"

Listen to this song immediately (scroll to the bottom of the page). It will fill you with joy all day long! The song is in french (not gibberish as I initially thought) and despite my inability to directly translate this song-- it isn't hard to connect with the utter joy that oozes from this little ditty. The only line that I do understand(ish?) is "Danse Danse Danse/ Elle Me Dit Danse" (Dance, Dance, Dance/ She said to Dance) and that is a sentiment I can get behind.

Smithsonian Player

The Smithsonian has an exhaustive collection of folk music that you can listen to for free. It isn't just "American" folk music-- you can listen to music from the Comanche, the Chinese, the Irish. Basically you can listen to all the folks' music.

Nerd Manifesto

RANDOM POST: Owl had it coming!

I don't actually hate everything. I do, however, love this picture. It is kind of perfect.

Ways to have a pretty awesome day:

1) Eat about 3,000 calories in under two hours

2) Regret nothing

"The sun is a mass of incandescent gas..."

There is only one thing that is awesome in this entry-- but it is plenty awesome on its own.

It is a video of a comet crashing into the sun and the fiery inferno that happens afterwards. Click on the link and watch it 43 times like I did.

Some scientists are quick to point out that that might not actually be what happened. It hasn't been 100% proven and we shouldn't jump to conclusions until we figure out (using science) what happened. These people are assholes. Something exploded into the sun. That is four different kinds of awesome. Stop attacking my sense of wonder!

Bears, Raves, and Ghosts!

I went to a "bear rave" last night... so I can cross that off my experience list.

John (my spectacular gay companion) somehow managed to coax me into a night on the town. I am really lazy so it was nothing short of miraculous that he not only managed to convince me to go out --but to go to Raleigh.

How did this happen?

He lured me with food.

Also... he's a bit bossy.

The Borough is a great little restaurant in Raleigh. Plus they have a drink called the "Schmitty Schnapps" which is made with gin and "the concentrated essence of rainbows, unicorns, and sarcasm." Amazing, right?

So next up was the "Bear Rave." I didn't quite know what to expect but I was psyched that there were free glow sticks at the door. Inside was an incredibly low-key rave. The music was pretty rave-y (I guess), but everyone seemed pretty content to talk to each other. I didn't think there were conversations at raves. Especially conversations about bicycling and gluten-free diets.

Since we were going to a gay (man) bar, I figured it would be an incredibly low pressure situation for me. I did not anticipate that the patrons would be so incredibly disdainful of my presence.

Chill out, guys. I am here to drink and play Pac-Man. Quit starin' at me and get back to your sedate rave.

John was welcomed into the pack and easily made conversation. It was a matter of minutes before he had scouted out an even better club. I gave him until the end of my Pac-Man game to get the guys number so he could meet up with him later.

"Will that be enough time?"

Whatever, John. I am awesome at Pac-Man. How dare you underestimate my skills.

The next club did not have a Pac-Man machine but was a decidedly larger club. When we got there at 12:07, there was one person dancing on the dance floor. I recoiled at her indifference to the awkwardness she was radiating into the room. Who dances alone in a club? Losers.

The patio was like a super-queer garden of earthly delights. There was a fountain in the center and all around were gay guys, gay ladies, drag queens, and a smattering of bisexuals. You know what there was surpassingly few of? Hipsters. It was incredibly refreshing. It was also hot as hades outside.

I went back inside to the air-condition (my true love) and it was like walking in to a different club. Apparently, 12:45 is the witching hour for Raleigh gays. In the mere minutes I was on the patio, the club had exploded into joyous dancing and celebration. That poor sad (dedicated!) dancer was now hidden in a gleeful throng of queers. It was fun but I why must the gays start partying so late?! I'll never break into the gay scene if things don't get going until 1am. Jeez!

There is a second drag show at 1am which was amazing.

People seem to have varied opinions on drag queens. My feelings are: drag queens are awesome because they 1) Call me sweetheart and 2) Are always taller than me and therefore give awesome hugs. Also, there isn't a single song that can't be enhanced somehow by having a drag queen dance to it. One danced to "Let the Rain Fall Down" by Hilary Duff. That song would have never entered my mind as a possible song to do a drag show to -- but this lady did. Because drag queens are visionaries.

My favorite performer did a bunch of high-kicks and cartwheels which, given the situation, was a bold addition to the choreography.

Despite being exhausted at the end of the night, we continued to gay it up on the way back to Greensboro with a "Wicked" sing-a-long.

Seriously.

I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't a rainbow exploding from the back of our car.

It was a good night.

God, I hope my grandparents still read this blog.

Review of Gaga's "Born This Way"

I received a lot of feedback for my last pop-culture post (not true) and I wanted to review this album because it is all I have been listening to on the way to open-mics/Harris Teeter (totally true).

I love this album.

Born This Way

First song to be leaked and it was fun. The "media" could not help but point out that the song was exactly the same as Madonna's "Express Yourself." They did this over and over and over. It isn't the same thing. The only way these songs are similar is that they are incredibly gay and have a nice little beat that you can dance to.

Also the music video was crazy cakes! In the first thirty seconds, a unicorn appears and Lady Gaga steps on to the scene playing some sort of alien mother who lives in an star colony shaped like ovaries. I don't know what happens next because there are some artistic kaleidoscopic scenes of earth mothers giving birth to good and evil... like literal birth.

I blotted out the next minute.

Giving birth is the grossest miracle.

But this song is awesome-sauce!

Marry The Night

Lady Gaga is over gay marriage- she is going to marry the Night.

Government Hooker

So gloriously bizarre. The song is punctuated by what sounds like Arnold Schwarzenegger saying things like "back and up and turn around" and "hands on the ground." Creepy! I'm glad this song could debut around the same his scandal went public. Now E! News has the perfect song to put in the background of this really important news story.

Judas

The first of many songs on this album whose sole purpose seem to be to confound the Church. (Fun Fact: "Judas" is the good redneck from "The Walking Dead.")

Americano

YES! I fell in instant love with this song. Gaga falls in love with a beautiful (I imagine) spanish lady. They love each other but can't understand one another. It doesn't matter because (spoiler alert) they die in the end.

I love songs where someone dies in the end it is fantastically dramatic- and before you judge me remember "Dark Lady"and "Delilah" and Johnny Cash who shot a man just to watch him die.

Gaga was even taunting her persecutors at the end. "Don't you try and catch me/Nyaa nyaa nyaa."

BANG!

Hair

I have been waiting impatiently for an awesome song about liberation as symbolized through hair styles. This might be surprising to people who know that I wear my hair in a ponytail EVERY SINGLE DAY- but it is true.

If Gaga hadn't made this song, Willow Smith would be the only one to have a fun "hair" song.

I am tired of Mouseketeers determining what is cool in pop culture.

Scheisse

"I don't speak German but I can if you'd like (YOWWW!)"

Faux-german was never so fun to sing along to!

Bloody Mary

My favorite part about this song is how casually (almost as if she is bored) she says that Jesus told her to dance.

Black Jesus + Amen Fashion

I like the chorus because it reminds me of a Bowie song but otherwise... no. I am done with all the blind praise that New York City gets. It is not the best city on earth. I will concede it is one of the best cities- but that is all. (Rant over)

Bad Kids

This is Hot Topic angst at its best.

Fashion of His Love

SOMEONE MASH THIS SONG UP WITH "I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY" IMMEDIATELY. I would love to listen to that awesome super-song all the time.

This song is awesome... as long as you ignore the first three lines of the song: "I never was the kind of girl who is naturally sure...I was insecure. INSECURE!"

We get it, Gaga.

By the way- if you haven't clicked on "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" link- do yourself and click on it. It is one of my dreams to re-create this whole music video with me playing all of the parts. Favorite part: when she is shaking the crap out of that one guy who won't dance with her "DON'T YOU WANT TO DANCE/ SAY YOU WANT TO DANCE."

Highway Unicorn (Road to Love)

Not only is this song called "Highway Unicorn" (awesome) it is the perfect song to howl along to in the privacy of your own car. Also there is a line: "Run run with the fury of a saint in her eyes." Lovely- only I never hear that. When I am singing along its "Run run with the fury of a St. Bernard."

I stand by my version.

Also- I don't know why I was looking for logic in a song called "Highway Unicorn", but even I am confused with "she's got a rainbow syrup in her heart that she bleeds." That sounds terrifying. I think that is how one of the children in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" is eliminated.

Heavy Metal Lover

This song is dirrrrty. I love it.

Electric Chapel

Taunting horribly conservative religious institutions is supposed to be fun and subversive- but this song is kind of boring.

The Queen

This song is great... wait-- did you just say "Rumble Bumple?"

(Yes, she did)

You and I

A nice little country song about queer love.

Edge of Glory

I think everyone has heard this one too. In the music video, every time she says she is on the edge-- she points to the black man playing saxophone. Why?

Photo of the day

Julie Andrews and Carol Burnett being super best friends

from the greatest tumblr on earth: Awesome People Hanging Out Together