Nerd Manifesto

RANDOM POST: Owl had it coming!

I don't actually hate everything. I do, however, love this picture. It is kind of perfect.

Ways to have a pretty awesome day:

1) Eat about 3,000 calories in under two hours

2) Regret nothing

"The sun is a mass of incandescent gas..."

There is only one thing that is awesome in this entry-- but it is plenty awesome on its own.

It is a video of a comet crashing into the sun and the fiery inferno that happens afterwards. Click on the link and watch it 43 times like I did.

Some scientists are quick to point out that that might not actually be what happened. It hasn't been 100% proven and we shouldn't jump to conclusions until we figure out (using science) what happened. These people are assholes. Something exploded into the sun. That is four different kinds of awesome. Stop attacking my sense of wonder!

Bears, Raves, and Ghosts!

I went to a "bear rave" last night... so I can cross that off my experience list.

John (my spectacular gay companion) somehow managed to coax me into a night on the town. I am really lazy so it was nothing short of miraculous that he not only managed to convince me to go out --but to go to Raleigh.

How did this happen?

He lured me with food.

Also... he's a bit bossy.

The Borough is a great little restaurant in Raleigh. Plus they have a drink called the "Schmitty Schnapps" which is made with gin and "the concentrated essence of rainbows, unicorns, and sarcasm." Amazing, right?

So next up was the "Bear Rave." I didn't quite know what to expect but I was psyched that there were free glow sticks at the door. Inside was an incredibly low-key rave. The music was pretty rave-y (I guess), but everyone seemed pretty content to talk to each other. I didn't think there were conversations at raves. Especially conversations about bicycling and gluten-free diets.

Since we were going to a gay (man) bar, I figured it would be an incredibly low pressure situation for me. I did not anticipate that the patrons would be so incredibly disdainful of my presence.

Chill out, guys. I am here to drink and play Pac-Man. Quit starin' at me and get back to your sedate rave.

John was welcomed into the pack and easily made conversation. It was a matter of minutes before he had scouted out an even better club. I gave him until the end of my Pac-Man game to get the guys number so he could meet up with him later.

"Will that be enough time?"

Whatever, John. I am awesome at Pac-Man. How dare you underestimate my skills.

The next club did not have a Pac-Man machine but was a decidedly larger club. When we got there at 12:07, there was one person dancing on the dance floor. I recoiled at her indifference to the awkwardness she was radiating into the room. Who dances alone in a club? Losers.

The patio was like a super-queer garden of earthly delights. There was a fountain in the center and all around were gay guys, gay ladies, drag queens, and a smattering of bisexuals. You know what there was surpassingly few of? Hipsters. It was incredibly refreshing. It was also hot as hades outside.

I went back inside to the air-condition (my true love) and it was like walking in to a different club. Apparently, 12:45 is the witching hour for Raleigh gays. In the mere minutes I was on the patio, the club had exploded into joyous dancing and celebration. That poor sad (dedicated!) dancer was now hidden in a gleeful throng of queers. It was fun but I why must the gays start partying so late?! I'll never break into the gay scene if things don't get going until 1am. Jeez!

There is a second drag show at 1am which was amazing.

People seem to have varied opinions on drag queens. My feelings are: drag queens are awesome because they 1) Call me sweetheart and 2) Are always taller than me and therefore give awesome hugs. Also, there isn't a single song that can't be enhanced somehow by having a drag queen dance to it. One danced to "Let the Rain Fall Down" by Hilary Duff. That song would have never entered my mind as a possible song to do a drag show to -- but this lady did. Because drag queens are visionaries.

My favorite performer did a bunch of high-kicks and cartwheels which, given the situation, was a bold addition to the choreography.

Despite being exhausted at the end of the night, we continued to gay it up on the way back to Greensboro with a "Wicked" sing-a-long.

Seriously.

I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't a rainbow exploding from the back of our car.

It was a good night.

God, I hope my grandparents still read this blog.